Last night, I read “The End of The Night” a book about light pollution from artificial lighting. While reading it I remember a little story from my childhood. My old brother had some friends over for the night and they were watching a horror movie. It was way too scary and I wanted to go to sleep but the corridor was dark. I asked my brother to come with me but he and his friends made fun of me. I ended up with two choices, keep watching the horror movie or go into the dark, full of my imaginary bogeyman.
I Will Never Be Fearless
I heard that all the time. Be fearless. Like nothing can stop you. Live your life to the fullest and what if I’m full of fear? Sorry but I am. I’m afraid. Afraid of so many things. Will my English be good enough? I am good enough? Can I do it?
There are two types of fear.
- Biological fear, it’s the one that helps us survive millions of years, that tell us to run in front of a predator and also trigger an automated step back when my mum eyebrow goes angry.
- Rational fear, it’s the one we inflict to ourselves when we are afraid of speaking in public, basically everything we are afraid of doing when it won’t have survival consequences and mostly fear based on education from society.
Here I’m speaking about the rational one. So please don’t try to beat the fear from falling from 20 meters high.
Fear That Stop You
Your heart pound, there’s a butterfly in your stomach. You can feel it right? The Fear. I do too. Probably more than everyone else, at least that’s what everyone thinks ! I agree, it sucks. So I stay here waiting for the right moment, I make excuses and soon enough follow avoidance, procrastination and insecurity. I feel like I stop living when I don’t confront my fears. We are born afraid of darkness. Light is the new norm but back in the day people had gaslight which was less brighter than today light. Even before we had fire light and at the start we had stars and simply moon reflection. What I mean is, even physically we don’t know darkness, we are born in the light. Look I’m typing in front of a screen lighted by led. I’ve never enjoyed a sky full of stars in total darkness, it’s not too late. I wasn’t born knowing how to face my fears, it’s not too late. Be hopeful don’t stop here because you hadn’t done it, it’s not too late.
Fear Push You Forward
If I want to live fully. I should be scared as shit of life ! Your heart should be full of doubt and fear but still taking that backpack and travelling. Still going to the unknown and confront those fears. So instead of being fearless which is totally impossible. Embrace your darkness, know yourself, your strength, your weakness, your dream, and YOUR FEAR.
Embrace fear. Know fear. Know that fear only is a cycle. Someday you are scared as shit then the next day you feel relieved of such a burden, nothing can stop the monster in you. Like a night which is always followed by a day. Like a yin-yang kind of thing. Nothing is permanent, everything changes, so do I.
Fear only exists if love exists both can’t be separate in your life. Nobody is fearless, fight your today fear will only bring bigger fear to destroy. Sometimes you’ll have to face the same fear over and over. Or being stuck in a fake artificial light (your comfort zone) away from darkness. Fear is intimidating, yet instead of having a feeling of impossible let’s be inspired, motivated even excited by it. The more I’ll face it the more I expect him to come. Eventually I can’t wait for the next day to bring his fears.
Embrace darkness. Like bane be moulded by your fear. You’ll be a full human when you get out of your fear and let your fear go because it belong to nothing more than your head.
Fear Keeps You Out of Your Comfort Zone
The moment you take your friends for granted you are doomed. Be afraid to loose them. Last night I was taking the tramway to go back home and saw someone hit at by a car. Let’s not take life for granted. Hades can show up at anytime.
I wish you fear in your life a lot of it and depression too. Sounds mean? But it’s out of love. It makes us grow. Fear is an opportunity, an opportunity to evolve and grow. In fact this post was at first just an entry in my journal that I rewrote. Writing down things really helps even if I’m scared of how people will react. Might be helpful to someone else. You never know.
Best fears in your journey.
Picture was taken during a run session. Just ended the half marathon for the first time last week, step by step conquering my fears.